


Seeing you everyday is my own personal form of torture.

by FanTitan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Friends to Lovers to Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hurt Lance (Voltron), I am sorry about making Lotor this way but he needed to be for plot, Insecure Keith (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Keith and Shiro are Siblings, Keith has insomnia, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, klangst, slow burn???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-04-18 11:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14212284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanTitan/pseuds/FanTitan
Summary: It had been 3 months of support from his friends.3 months to heal and move on....So when Lance walked into the bookstore, seeing Keith with another man should not hurt the way that it did.





	1. Days like this I wanna drive away

**Author's Note:**

> My first Voltron fic!  
> Also I apologize if anything is misspelled I am a bad speller....

 

 

It had been 3 months

 

3 months since the day Keith had _finally_ agreed to hang out with Lance after a month of radio silence.

3 months since Lance had found himself sitting across from Keith in a coffee shop.

3 months since Keith had broken up with Lance.

3 months since Lance’s heart was broken.

 

* * *

 

Lance would have thought that three months would have been more than enough to get over Keith, but it clearly wasn’t.

 

He had spent the first two weeks or so in his room.

Pidge had to break down his house door to pull him out of bed. Hunk had also shown up soon after Pidge had found Lance. The two of them let Lance vent and cry. They put up with it for a while until they began to help him to prepare to rejoin society 

 

 

 

It was the start of summer and they didn’t want him to waist it.

And he had been missing work for almost 2 weeks. And he did need to go back. 

Lance, however, was more than okay with never leaving the comfort of his room.

 

But, they did eventually pull him out of bed and into the real world.  They had even tried to find him a rebound but Lance hadn’t been up to it.

 

No one could possibly replace Keith.

 

 

 

It took Lance longer to throw away everything Keith gave him. Hunk and Pidge had him collect everything that reminded him or Keith and put it in a box. Once they had, they had cut up everything and burned it. It had felt empowering, to see it all burn and turn into ash.....

Lance did feel better for a while after.

 

Seeing his memories of Keith fade away helped him feel more empowered. More in control of a situation he hadn’t had control of…

 

Pidge had to be the one to delete Keith’s number from his phone. Lance couldn’t bring himself to do it. It was too painful.

Not that Pidge doing deleting the number matter, Lance still knew it by heart.

 

It had been 3 months of support from his friends.

3 months to heal and move on...

So when Lance walked into the bookstore, seeing Keith with another man should not have been as hurtful as it was.

* * *

 

 

Lance had gone to the bookstore after calling in advance to make sure that they had the book Pidge had been dying to get their hands on. Pidges birthday was coming up and Lance wanted to get a good gift for them.

 

The book was a limited copy of a tec journal from one of Pidge's favorite engineer's.  

He knew that it would be the perfect gift! Lance had been relieved when he had called the store a week ago to find that they had a copy.  It was expensive but definitely was worth every penny if it brought Pidge happiness.

Lance had asked the store to hold it for him and he had planned to pick it up that day without any trouble before going to his job at the art museum.

Too bad the universe had other plans.

 

Lance had walked into the store and glanced around swiftly. As he did so, his eyes fell upon none other than Keith. Only one word had run through Lance's head. 

_Fuck_

 

 

 

Keith looked to be doing well.

 

His hair was pulled up into a messy bun and he was wearing his usual fingerless gloves and flannel.  Keith had a stupid smile on his face and was laughing at something the boy next to him said. It made Lance sick. But that boy holding Keith’s hand, however, made him want to die.

He was handsome much to Lance’s dismay. He had long dyed silver hair and was probably the picture of top fashion. His skin was perfect and he had good curves. Although, he was wearing a lot of purple that, in Lance’s opinion, was tacky.

Lance instantly felt insecure. He knew has lanky and his skin was oily. He also certainly was n’t as attractive as the man kissing Keith’s cheek.

 

Lance turned into another line of shelves and then allowed himself to have a mini freak out.

 

He had suspected that Keith might have been cheating on him before he broke up with him and it hurt to see it practically confirmed right in front of his eyes.

If that wasn't the case, it did hurt to see that Keith had quickly moved on.

 

_Did he mean nothing to Keith?_

_Was he himself too clingy?_

_Was he too loud?_

_Was he too ugly for Keith to bare?_

 

 

Lance seriously began to regret on wearing shorts and a sweatshirt that practically swallowed him. His skincare routine was forgotten that morning and it was very obvious. He also knew that his hair also looked like a mess.

He would have put in more effort that morning if he knew he would be running into his ex.

 

He debated on whether or not to text Hunk and Pidge but decided against it. He could do this.

All he needed to do was go to the front counter and pick up the book and pay for it. Then he could leave and never have to see Keith ever again.

 

Lance took a deep breath before leaving the aisle.

 

He quickly made his way to the front counter and into line. He found himself picking his nails as he waited. There was a good amount of people in the line and each person gave Lance more anxiety. He bit on his thumbnail after a while.

_Come on universe please help me out here!_

 

After what felt like forever, he was at the counter.

“Hello, I am here for a pickup,” Lance said keeping his voice as quiet as possible. The cashier nodded.

“Okay. Under what name?”

“Lance.”

 

The cashier nodded again before turning to under the counter. Lance bit on his lip nervously, silently praying that he could get out before getting noticed. He almost started to tap his fingers against the counter but caught himself before he did so.

It would just come across as mean to the cashier and Lance had no desire to piss them off.

 

“Alright.” The cashier came up from under the desk and pulled out the book before scanning it.

The beep rang out and Lance prayed that it didn’t catch Keith’s attention.

 

“Your total is 57.65.”

 

Lance pulled out 3 crumpled 20’s out of his pocket and waited as his change and receipt were handed to him.

 

“Have a good day.”

 

“Thanks, you too!”

 

Lance made his way to the door and almost made it until-

 

“Lance?”

 

Lance froze when he heard Keith’s voice.

 

_Fuck_

_Fuck_

_Fuck_

_FUCK_

 

Lance took a deep breath before he plastered on a happy face and turned around.

 

_Just pretend. Your good at that._

 

“Oh hey, Keith!”

 

Lance felt a surge of anger and sadness now that he was fully staring at Keith.  

It was as though his heart begged him to leap into Keith’s arms. As though his heart wanted him to place a kiss on Keith’s stupid soft lips.

 

Lance slightly pinched his arm to bring himself back into reality. When he did, Lance didn’t fail to notice the glare he was receiving from the purple wearing boy.

 

“What are you doing here?”

Keith’s tone was really defensive and that caught Lance off guard. But not as much as when Keith broke up with him.

 

“Buying a book.” Lance responded.

Wow, it hurt to talk to Keith.

Keith seemed to drop the defensiveness.

 

An awkward silence followed and Lance had a strong urge to slap Keith.

 

  
“So, you seem to be doing well.” Lance forced out in his still cheery fake voice.

 

“I have been, how about you?” Keith asked politely enough. 

 

_As if he cares._

_He hates you._

_And who blames him?_

_You're pathetic._

 

“I’m doing okay…..”

 

“Babe is this Lance, the weird ex-boyfriend you told me about?” The purple boy asked in a fake innocent voice.

 

Lance felt himself shrink into himself more.

Yeah.

Keith fucking hated him.

 

“ Lotor it-” Keith began before being cut off.

“I’m Lotor. Nice to meet you.” Lotor said, cutting Keith off.

 

Lotor didn’t even offer a hand to Lance and honestly, he wasn’t surprised.

It figured that Keith would go off and date an asshole.

 

“ So Lance, what have you been up to?"

 

_As if he cares_

 

“ I’ve been doing good.” Lance easily lied. “ I um...started to go back to therapy so yeah…” Lance lead off quickly regretting to bring it up. Especially in front of Lotor.

 

“ That’s good. I know that you um..were meaning to go back.”

Lance nodded and felt the ache return.

He just wanted to leave.

Was that too much to ask?

 

“I moved into my own apartment.”

 

Lance was not surprised at the news. Keith had lived with his half-brother Shiro but Shiro was planning to start living with his boyfriend. Shiro’s boyfriend was Pidge's brother, Matt.

Pidge had told Lance that Matt and Shiro had started to live together a couple of months ago and Lance figured that Keith moved. Also funny enough, Shiro was Lance’s boss.

 

“That’s cool. Closer to work?” Lance guessed.

“ Yeah. It’s much easier to be on time.”

 

Lance’s heart hurt when he remembered Keith’s boss getting mad at Keith for being late for work. Lance had reassured him with kisses and convinced Keith to get better sleep so he would be able to wake up on time.

Keith had taken his advice and no more complaints from Keith’s boss where made.

 

“ Well, it was nice running into you but i-I have to get going!” Lance cringed when his voice cracked in the middle of the sentence.

 

“Okay, it was nice to catch up.” Keith gave Lance a small smile and Lance wanted to slap himself across the face at how it made his stomach tie up in knots. Lotor gave Lance a shit eating grin and Lance hiked his backpack feather up his shoulder. Lance nodded politely and held it together until he got out of the bookstore and to work.

In the empty employ bathroom, however, he allowed himself to fully break down in tears.

 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“So that’s it? He just has another boyfriend?”

 

“Yeah. And Lotor is gross.”

 

Pidge nodded in agreement. “ Yeah, Matt has shown me some pictures of him before.” Lance groaned and fell back into his bed.

He had just told Pidge and Hunk about his encounter with Keith and they were trying their best to support Lance.

 

“ What hurts most about that whole thing was just that he moved on so quickly. It’s only been 3 months….. Am I just that replaceable?”

 

“ Lance no, he is just a jerk. If anything, Lotor is a rebound.“ Hunk piped up trying to assure Lance.  “ I don’t know Hunk...they seemed pretty happy…”

 

“ Why were you there in the first place?” Pidge asked after some silence.

 

“ I was just passing through before work.”

 

That wasn’t really too much of a lie.

At work, Lance had been really distracted and messed up a lot of information in his tour groups. Also, it was really clear for everyone to have seen that he had cried his eyes out in the bathroom. His boss Shiro ( Keith’s none-ass brother) had let Lance go home early and he had been so grateful.

 

“Well, you're going to have to see him next week….” Pidge pointed out.

“What?”

 

“Yeah, my birthday remember?”

 

Lance groaned. He had totally forgotten.

 

Pidge's brother was going to be there.

That meant that Shiro was going to be there.

Which meant that Keith was going to be there.

Which also probably meant that Lotor was going to be there.

It was like Keith was a permanent part of his life.

 

“ _Okay,_ I won’t be rude.”

 

Pidge rolled their eyes before they lightly punched Lance.

 

“ Who knows? Maybe he will be nice.” They suggested.

 

_Yeah. Right….._

 

 _\---------_ \----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The day of Pidges birthday finally came and Lance was just about ready to die.

 

He knew that no amount of warning would be enough to help mentally prepare him to see Keith again.

He finished setting up his skin routine and needed to wait 25 minutes until he could wash it off. He lit some aromatherapy candles and played some classical music on his phone.

This helped him calm down and he hoped that it would help take some stress off the incoming situation.

 

He sat there and breathed him the scent. He felt his body relax and he felt at peace.

 

He tried to refuse his mind from drift to Keith. But, he found himself doing it anyway.

 

Keith had really hurt him.

Keith was still really hurting him.

And as much as Keith hurt him Lance couldn’t bring himself to truly hate Keith.

He couldn’t just ignore the two years that they had been together.

Or the four years that they had known each other before that. The memories still played in Lance’s head and made him dizzy. Why were things so difficult?

 

 

When the 25 minutes was done, Lance proceeded to go to his bathroom and wash off the mask.

He stared at himself in the mirror and was relieved to see that it looked fresh and soft. Plus, it should make him smell like roses.

 

Lance shut off the music and blew out the candles.

 

He then faced his next challenge.

 

What to wear.

He wanted to look chill and put together. He also knew it was going to be a late night out with all that was planned. The possibilities were endless.

 

In the end, he settled for wearing skinny jeans and a nice blue button-up shirt. He glanced at the time and saw that there was half an hour until he had to be at the restaurant for part 1 of Pidge's birthday.

 

Lance had already wrapped Pidges gift and had made them a crazy and glittery homemade card. Lance had also spammed Pidge that morning with birthday texts and he was prepared to pay for dinner.

He was ready for everything except for seeing Keith.

 

Lance searched his drawers for a while until he found a couple of rubber bands. He took one and placed it around his wrist. His therapist had told Lance to snap it when he was feeling anxious and he knew that he would be feeling it a lot that night.

 

With his phone, wallet, keys, and one last glance at his mirror, Lance left this apartment.

 

When he got to the restaurant he was greeted with Pidge, Matt, and Hunk.

Lance had immediately bearhugged all of them. He threw his gift at Pidge before settling down between Pidge and Hunk.

Lance then soon found the four of them falling into an easy conversation of what was going on with their lives.

Lance had been so distracted that he hadn’t noticed Shiro and Keith approaching the table.

 

“Hey, Pidge! Happy birthday!”

 

Shiro’s voice had caught Lance really off-guard and nearly made him choke on his water.

 

 

“Hey, Shiro!”

 

Lance directed his gaze casually to Keith and found none other than Lotor at Keith’s side. Lance then felt another weird sensation in his chest and at that point was no longer listening to Pidge and Shiro’s conversation.

 

Keith had greeted Pidge as well before introducing Lotor to everyone. Hunk and Matt had quickly given him a kind greeting and Pidge had quickly begun to glare at both Lotor and Keith.

 

Keith sat down across from Lance and Lotor sat to the right of Keith.

 

Lance was sure that they were trying to kill him.

 

It was going to be a long night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. It's too late to apologize

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE RE-READ THE FIRST CHAPTER SEEING AS I HAVE UPDATED IT TO SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN A COUPLE OF SPOTS!

 

 

Lance picked at his food.

 

Lotor had continued to be a complete jerk and it was clear that everyone, including Hunk and Shiro, hated Lotor as he did.

Lotor wasn’t even trying to make a good impression and even Keith looked uncomfortable.

 

“So Keith, how long have you and Lotor been together?” Hunk asked casually and honestly Lance felt so lucky that Hunk was asking a question he wanted to ask but couldn’t.

“About maybe two months? We met in a bar.”

That made Lance raise an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah. He came over to me and we started to talk and do shots and we went back to his place.” Lotor made sure to look at Lance as he spoke. Underneath the table, Lance lightly snapped the rubber band around his wrist.

“He asked for my number the next morning and then we went on a date.” Keith finished quickly.  

Pidge rested their chin on their folded hands and leaned forward towards Keith and Lotor.

 

“So….one could argue that the two of you had sex upon first meeting?” Pidge asked.

Everyone at the table gawked at their bluntness. Pidge picked up on everyone's reaction and shrugged.

 

“What? It’s a perfectly fine question to ask.”

“Yes, we did,” Lotor replied in a too prideful way.

 

“Alrighty then.  See? Not a big deal.“

Shiro looked at the new awkward tension before jumping in to make things less weird.

“So Hunk, I heard that your bakery is taking off. Please do tell.”

Hunk smiled at the mention of his bakery. Lance knew that Hunk put all of his energy and time into it and was proud of its success. As Hunk began to go on about that to Shiro, Lance took the opportunity to do his own investigating.

 

 

“So Lotor, where do you work?” Lance asked casually.

Lotor looked at him in a weird way before responding. “ I am ahead of my parents old business. It’s pretty successful. I’m sure you’ve heard of Garla Inc. It does make millions.”

Lance, in fact, had heard about it and nodded. “That’s interesting. When did you start?”

Lotor looked taken aback that Lance was being kind and Lance did a quiet happy dance in his head. It _was_ hard not to let his emotions take over.

“I started maybe 2 or 3 years ago. I quite enjoy working there.”

“That’s good,” Lance said, giving Lotor a kind smile.

 

Just because Lotor was being a jerk, didn’t mean that Lance had to be one too.  

Keith was watching their interaction and didn’t show any kind of reaction.

Figured.

 

 

When the food arrived Lance was happy to see that easy conversation continued throughout the meal.

Although Lance didn’t talk much to Keith he made sure to not be rude to him. No one need for drama. After all, it was supposed to be about Pidge.  

Lance had insisted on ordering a whole cake for dessert and it hadn’t taken a lot of convincing to get everyone else to agree.

After it was ordered, Pidge began to open their birthday presents while waiting for dessert to arrive.

 

They opened Hunk’s gift first and received a couple of new nerdy stuff Lance didn’t really understand.

They then opened Lance’s gift. The second they laid their eyes on his card there was already a wide smile on their face. They smiled and read the card before looking at him with slight tears in their eyes.

 

“Aww, Lance!”

“What does it say?” Matt asked with curiosity.

Pidge began to read it aloud.

 

“Dear Pidge,

Happy birthday! How do I even start to explain how amazing you are?

You are such a great friend and have always helped me.

Whether it be getting my personal shit together or helping me learn how to pass a class back in college.

You have always been a constant support in my life and I am so great full.

You a literally the smartest person on earth and I could go on and on. Thank you so much for sticking by.

I hope you know how much you mean to me.

I also hope you enjoy my gift because I spent practically a whole paycheck on it.

And I lost the receipt...

 

With lots of love,

Lance."

 

 

 

A couple of awws were heard around the table and Lance smiled upon hearing them. Lotor didn’t even look up from his phone.

Pidge opened his gift and once they reached the cover they were actually in tears.

 

“No way! Lance! Oh my god, how? I couldn't find this book anywhere!” they asked, hand covering mouth in shock.

Lance merely grinned.“I have my ways.”

Pidge tackled Lance into a hug.

 

After all, the gifts were opened and desert finally came they all began to sing happy birthday.

 Pidge blew out their candles.

 

 

After dessert was complete, Lance was relieved to see Lotor leave due to having work the next day. Although, Lance was sure he just hated everyone there.

Lotor kissed Keith goodbye and wished Pidge a happy birthday. Lance could tell that it bothered everyone there that Lotor hadn’t said it was nice to meet them.

At least Lotor wasn’t a liar.

Unlike someone Lance knew.

 

“So?” Keith asked hesitantly.

“ I don’t know what to think of him. I mean he seems...interesting but Keith, he didn’t really seem like he liked us.” Hunk said lightly, clearly trying his hardest to be nice about Lotor.

“What? I’m sure he was just nervous.” Keith protested.

“I don't know Keith. I think maybe you freaked him out. It seems like you two would have to be serious if you are making him meet us so quickly.” Matt pointed out.

“ Plus at such a social event with everyone here I see why that could have bugged him…”  Hunk finished for Matt.

Lance felt as though he himself, was the one they were talking about.  Keith shrugged . “I guess you're right.”

It was surprising for Lance to see Keith not immediately defend his boyfriend but whatever, it wasn’t his business.

 

Once they left the restaurant, they all headed to a club. Something more in Lance’s element.

Plus some alcohol in this weird situation wouldn’t hurt. It started with all of them at the bar taking shots. After a while ,the dance floor began to kick up and Lance quickly made his way to it.

 

 

Lance **loved** dancing.

That was another big reason he was happy to be there. He dance alone for while until Hunk came to dance with him for a bit. Shiro and Matt also began to dance with each other and it wasn’t long until Pidge and Keith were too. The music pounded against the walls and Lance allowed his body to move to the rhythm.

 

Lance danced with Shiro, Matt, and Pidge a couple of times before he found himself dancing with a couple of cute strangers.

It was no secret among his friends that he loved dancing and they left him to it.

Lance found the amount of alcohol in him was just enough to not make him not drunk but dizzy. He didn’t drink more than what he had before he stepped onto the dance floor. He noticed his other friends however, going crazy. With the exception of Shiro of course.

Lance loved to dance until he no longer physically could. It made him feel so free and happy. Waking up to his feet hurting was something that he didn’t mind doing.

Lance continued to dance for the majority of the night. He was on the dance floor when suddenly one of his favorite songs turned on.

 

_Alright Alright_

_Alright Alright_

_It’s a hell of a feeling though_

_It’s a hell of a feeling though_

 

Lance smiled and whooped. He turned and saw Keith near him with no sight of his friends.  Keith had been the one to introduce Panic! At the disco to Lance and that was something Lance had no intention of giving up. He continued to dance and  it wasn’t long until he found himself dancing with some strangers.

The buzzing of the alcohol was enough for Lance to not really comprehend much of what was happening. Lance actually didn’t really comprehend it.

 

_I lost a bet to a guy in a chiffon skirt, but I make these high heels work._

 

Lance found himself singing the words and overall, just having a good time. When it was the end of the song Lance felt pretty happy. Happier than he had been in a while. He had avoided listening the any of the music from Panic! since it reminded him so much of Keith.

It was something he didn’t realize he missed. 

 

 

Lance than marched himself over to the bar and found a still sober Shiro. “Hey, Shiro.” Lance greeted as he sat down next to him.  “H-hey Lance!”

Shiro’s tone sounded nervous to Lance and that made Lance  uncomfortable. “ Hey ,Shiro, what's up?” Lance asked.

“Lance, I want to apologize.”

“Huh?” Shiro looked down slightly before starting. 

“I’m so sorry about Lotor I-”

 

“Shiro, it’s okay. I can’t expect Keith to stay single forever.”

Shiro ran a hand through his hair and sighed.  “Lance, you don’t get it.”

Lance took a sip of his tequila infused drink. “What do you mean?”

“Promise that you won’t hate me.” Lance raised an eyebrow.

 

 

_Why was Shiro acting so weird?_

 

“Shiro calm down, I won’t hate you.”

“Okay. Lance I….I encouraged Keith to sleep with Lotor.”

 

Well, that certainly caught Lance off guard.

“It’s just…...Keith wouldn’t stop crying and I couldn’t let him stay cooped up in his room anymore. So, I took him a bar one night so he could get a rebound. I didn’t actually think that he would start dating him, or even that he would bring him to pidges birthday. I told him not to, hell, begged him not to but he did anyways. I’m so sorry Lance. I just feel like you should know.”

 

Lance downed the rest of his drink and let Shiro's words set in.

He then shrugged. “Shiro, it’s okay, honestly it is. Keith is just..Look, I get it. You wanted to help him get back into reality. It’s okay really. Although I do appreciate your attempts to get him not to bring Lotor.”

 

Shiro  pulled Lance into a hug and Lance hid his face in Shiro’s chest. Lance allowed himself to feel the comfort for a second before they pulled apart.

Once they did pull apart however, Lance found himself craving the feeling.

The feeling of warmth and affection.

He just wanted affection.

 

He bid Shiro farwell before he excused himself to the dance floor.

He soon found himself fall back into the beat as the music blasted all around him.

 

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When Lance woke up he realized that he was in hell.

His head pounded in pain and he didn’t think he could move if he tried. Being hungover sucked.  His feet were defiantly bleeding and he knew he would be suffering the consequences for what he did the previous night.

Lance surveyed his surroundings and realized that he was on Pidges couch and it only took a second before Lance ran on bruised feet to the bathroom where he emptied the contents of his stomach. Lance groaned before he continued to vomit.

 

Once he stopped he washed off his face and found none other than the birthday star themselves, Pidge.

“So, I see you had a good time last night.”

 

Lance signed and accepted the advil they offered him.

“Did I do anything dumb last night?”Lance asked hesitantly after he took a pill.

“No not really. You mostly danced the whole night. I had to take you home though.”

“Thanks for that.” Lance said smiling lightly at Pidge who merely shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Hunk slept over too. He’s still sleeping though so we should probably keep it down.”

 

Lance had miraculously survived a whole night out with his ex and his ex’s next boyfriend. That itself, was a miracle.

Lance took a shower before the two of them made their way to the kitchen where they each got a mug of much needed coffee. He filled Pidge on the new installment of drama in his life.

Pidge nodded along as he told them the information that Shiro had provided Lance with.

“Well…” Pidge said laying a hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“At least you know it’s a rebound and not serious.”

“Is it though? I don’t know, seeing him with Lotor was just so weird.  I don’t know…”

 

Pidge allowed Lance to pull them into hug. “Lance, I think that Keith need’s to get his life together and until then,” They pulled apart from each other and once again, Lance felt himself crave more physical contact.

 “You know what? we shall binge watch Harry Potter cus A: still my birthday week and B: I know you love Harry Potter too.” Lance smiled and found himself snuggled up on Pidges couch (after all of the sheets he had been sleeping with were removed) and drinking lots of water. It wasn’t long until Hunk came out of the guest room and snuggled up on the couch with them too.

 

Hunk was also updated on the whole situation when Pidge got up to get them all snacks. Hunk had a similar opinion to Pidge and also gave Lance comforting words.

 

Lance was lucky to have them on his side.

 

He was lucky that during the break up he had gotten Pidge and Hunk. That however, also made him feel guilty.

 Keith didn’t have any other friends other than them and Shiro. Keith also did have a hard time bringing down his walls and he knew about all that Keith had been through, him growing up in foster care and abusive homes for almost the entirety of his childhood before being taken in by Shiro’s family.

Lance shook off the guilt for the time being.

 

Keith should have thought of that before ignoring him for a month.

He should have thought of that before cutting him loose.

He should have thought of that before he said the words that he had said.

He should had thought of that before breaking Lance’s heart.

 

 

Lance snapped the almost forgotten rubber band around his wrist

Yeah, Lance was the lucky one.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for reading!  
> Please let me know if there is anything that is misspelled!  
> Check out the amazing art from:  
> http://corn4flakesart.tumblr.com/
> 
> Kudos and Comments are Welcomed!  
> My tumblr: fantitanstar.tumblr.com


	3. Boys don't want our hearts to break

_-Flashback-_

 

 

Lance tapped his foot against the tiled floor and sipped on his iced coffee. He had shown up early and was feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement.

 

Lance would admit that recently he and Keith had been weird. Lance’s daily good morning texts went unanswered. So did his calls. Lance was worried about Keith and it didn’t help that he didn’t get through to him.

 

It had been a month and Lance was only getting more and more worried.

Yeah, he had been keeping count of the days.

 

Lance had been surprised that Keith even saw his request for a coffee date and was even more so when Keith had agreed.

 

It wasn’t long until Keith had shown up. He had slipped into a seat across from Lance. Lance noted that Keith looked nervous.

“ Hey amor, how are you?” Lance had asked, reaching his hand across to take Keith’s hand into his.

“ I’m doing okay. “ Keith had said as he lightly eyed their intertwined hands.

 

Lance had raised an eyebrow but a kept a playful smile. He had noticed that Keith hadn’t called him his usual honey and he tried not to show that it bothered him.

 

_What was going on?_

 

They had a nice conversation back and forth and Lance found himself no longer caring that he had shaken him off for a month. Keith had mentioned that he was busy and that he didn’t have much time to do anything in his free time. That had to be it.

 

As they talked though, Lance sensed that something more was going on. He found himself asking Keith about it.

And just like that, the truth came out.

 

“ What’s wrong?” Lance had asked in sincere worry.

“ I...I have to tell you something.” The tone had switched into something that was worrying and full of anxiety.

“ Go ahead, you can tell me anything. “ Lance stroked Keith’s hand with his thumb and had looked at him encouragingly.

 

“  I...I am not happy in this relationship anymore.”

 

Those words had caught Lance off guard.

“ Okay….”

 

His thoughts had been racing a thousand miles.

_What does he mean?_

_What happened?_

_Did something happen that I didn’t pick up on?_

 

“ I haven’t been talking to you because I hoped that you would break up with me so I wouldn’t have to break up with you.”

 

“ Why?” Lance had asked. He still remembered hearing his heart pounding in his ears.

Keith had wanted him to break up with him first? 

Suddenly the past month made sense. 

Lance suddenly felt very intimidated sitting there across From Keith. 

 

“ Lance, I just am not happy anymore okay?”

Lance had tried, but couldn't compose himself. 

“ I just want to know what happened. Was it something I did? “ Lance asked.

He had felt as though the world was crashing around him and he was powerless to stop it.

“ No Lance I just..I want to break up…” Keith said casually with a shrug. Looking back, Lance would still not notice the pain in Keith's eyes, the way he bit his lip hard to keep more from coming out. 

 

The place had taken a deep shuttering breath before nodding slowly. "Okay." 

 

"Look, Lance, it's not you, its just.."

"Just what?"

Keith had looked down at his watch. "I have to go. "

"Before you go I just..."

"God, do you ever stop talking?"

"What?" Lance had asked completely off guard.

"God, I thought you could take a hint."

 

"What do you-?"

" Look, Lance, I don't want to talk to you about this okay? I didn't even want to break up with you first because I knew I would be the bad guy-"

" So what? You've just spent a month making me feel like shit so you could be what? A Hero? Why didn't you just break up with me a month ago? I don't understand why you thought it would be a good idea to ignore me."

 

Keith rolled his eyes. "Look, I've gotta go, I don't have time for this."

And just like that, Keith was up and gone. 

Leaving Lance alone and heartbroken. 

 

 

-  _End Flashback-_

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Lance went on with his life. Seeing Keith had been weird but Lance at the very least got some kind of answer. 

Lance felt stupid for lightening up when he heard that Lotor was a rebound.

Maybe he still had a shot? 

Lances thoughts didn't drift to Keith so naturally, the universe found a way to rope Keith back into his life somehow. 

 

Lance had been out on his lunch break when he walked into Subway. As he made his way the decently sized line, he spotted none other than Keith in front of him. Of course, he was spotted. Keith turned around and stopped when he saw Lance. 

Lance braced himself. 

"Hey, Lance. "

" Hey..can I ask you something?" Lance found himself asking. 

"um sure?" Keith asked, looking confused.

" Where are you dating Lotor when we were still together?" Lance found himself asking. 

" I didn't want to talk about this okay." 

" So, you did."

Lance felt his heartbreaking all over again. Lance wasn't fine. 3 months hadn't been enough time to get over Keith. It still hurt. That was something he hadn't fully realized until then. 

"Lance no I just-"

"No. I want answers. Why did you break up with me? Why did you cheat me? Am I not good enough?" Lance was nearly screaming at that point and patrons of Subway were now staring at them.

Lance shank into himself feeling every one gaze.  

" Lance no, it's not like that at all. Your honestly an amazing person I just...its not like that."

"Then why? Do you know how much it hurt to be shunned for a month? What was I supposed to think Keith? I'm sad that our relationship didn't work out. I am sad that I was playing for mind games for a month. I hope it made you happy because of it fucking hurt." Lance said, feeling hopeless. 

"I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT YOU OKAY, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT?" 

 

Silence. 

_What?_

 

" IT'S HARD FOR ME TOO OKAY?" Lance was shocked to see tears flowing out of Keith's eyes. The echoing silence surrounded them. No one spoke. No one moved.

 

"GOD DAMN IT,  I LOVE YOU LANCE. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR? B-because I do.."

 

Woah, that really caught Lance by surprise. Keith sniffed in through his nose and averted his eye contact with Lance to the floor. 

 

"Of course I didn't cheat on you Lance I just...You...you just deserve someone better than me. Someone who is always there when you need them. Someone who has their lives together. Someone who won't make you cry. Someone who is way up in your league...Someone who isn't me.." Keith was now full on crying and Lance couldn't move. He couldn't process what Keith was saying. 

"It fucking hurts to see you, Lance, because I know I don't deserve you. I know that I fucked up. I know that I don't know how to fix it. I just want you in my life even though you don't want me to be in yours. Even though I don't deserve it. I thought that maybe if I ignored you for a month than you would finally just tell me that I wasn't worth it. I didn't mean to hurt you." 

 

Lance felt his heart beating loud in his chest. 

 

Keith rubbed his eyes. He swiftly walked around Lance and out the door. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

" So, I heard that Keith broke up with Lotor," Pidge said casually. 

"What?" 

 

" Yeah, Shiro was pretty happy about it. Apparently, it was just a short relationship thing."

Lance was playing video games with Pidge in his apartment. They had been happily playing until Pidge proceeded to  bring up, once again, Keith.

 

"That's interesting,"  Lance said, still focused on the screen in front of him. He was currently was trying to gain the upper hand but was failing. 

"Sure is." 

Pidge didn't really continue and Lance was glad. Lance continued to focus on the game and had though the matter was over until,

"So..you gonna date him now?"

Lance nearly choked on his spit. 

"W-what? No!" 

 

Pidge looked at him, eyebrows raised. 

"Really?" 

"Yes, why would you say that?"

Pidge shrugged. "I don't know I thought that maybe he was finally getting it together." 

Lance shifted his position on the couch. He hadn't told anyone about his run-in with Keith. 

He had spent a good amount of time trying to dissect their interaction. As much as Lance didn't want to admit it, Keith was not a soulless human with no heart Keith was a person with feelings and reasons. 

"Well, that's not going to happen."

"Okay then."

 

Lance looked over at the game over screen flashing on his television screen. What Keith had said and done had been really unexpected for him. Lance felt himself mentally groan.

Why was everything just so difficult?

He wished that things could just go back to normal and be good again but now...he wasn't sure what could be done. He wasn't sure exactly what happened with Keith and he didn't want to be mad at him anymore.

But was that even possible at that point?

Lance didn't think he was mad anymore.

But he wasn't so sure about how Keith felt.  He had seemed pretty upset. Lance knew that he would see Keith again but who knew how that interaction would turn out. Keith had been really upset. 

So really only one question remained... 

What would he do now?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH https://archiveofourown.org/users/werimuch/pseuds/werimuch
> 
> They made AMAZING art for this and I am SO happy!  
> Here it is! http://corn4flakesart.tumblr.com/post/173073643139/hi-i-did-a-fanart-to-klance-fic-that-i-really
> 
> Once again thank you SO much :DD
> 
>  
> 
> And thank you everyone for reading and for all the loving comments it really means so much to me <3


	4. I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget...

 

That morning at the museum had been slow. It was the middle of the day on a Tuesday so it really wasn’t too much of a surprise for Lance.

Lance sat behind the ticket booth, flipping through his phone, and thinking about going home and watching Steven Universe.

He lightly hummed as he scrolled through Instagram letting it take up some time. Lance didn’t notice he was no longer alone until he heard an “ahem”.

 

 

Lance looked up and found Shiro standing in front of the booth.

Lance immediately felt himself freeze. He had managed to avoid Shiro for a week and he wasn’t ready for their first interaction to be him firing him for not doing his job.

 

“Hey, Shiro…,” Lance said, feeling himself sweat.

“ Hello, Lance! I wanted to talk to you for a minute if that’s okay?.”

“Yeah, that’s totally okay.”

Shiro smiled and leaned on the counter.

 

“It’s nothing serious. I just wanted to invite you to this movie night thing that I and Matt are having this Thursday. I am not sure if Pidge remembered that it was happening this week so I wanted to invite you under the assumption that they forgot. “

Lance nodded and felt a little bit of tension leave him He thought that the conversation was going to be about Keith.

 

“So um...who’s going to be there?”  Lance asked casually.

It would be nice for once in his life to be prepared for Keith. But after what had happened at Subway….Lance knew that the two of them would inevitably have to talk about their break up. Keith’s words still haunted his dreams.

 

Lance knew that as much as he didn’t want it to be true, he still loved Keith.  Keith had also said that he loved him too so, something was still happening between them. It was all something he knew he needed to get together. But maybe not until a year? That seemed like a good option.

 

“Matt, Pidge, one of Matt’s coworkers Allura, maybe also Hunk, and myself. “

“Um…”

“Not Keith if that’s what you're trying to figure out. He has a thing this Thursday. “ Shiro said knowingly.  Lance flushed at being called out on.

He did, however, want to see Keith again.

“I will be there!”

“Cool!” Shiro said, smile now appearing on his face. “It is going to start at 7:30ish. Please bring snacks if you can.”

 

“Okay, sounds like a plan. “ Shiro turned and began to walk away from the counter.

Lance surprised himself by calling out. “Hey, Shiro?”

Shiro turned around and responded with a “Yes?”

“I was wondering…” Lance lead off.

He fiddled with the hem of his shirt and suddenly felt very awkward. It took him some courage to speak up. “I was actually wondering how Keith as doing.”

 

 

Shiro seemed taken aback by Lance’s words and honestly, Lance didn’t blame him.

It had always been some unsaid rule between the two of them(ever since the break up) not to talk directly about Lance and Keith’s old relationship. “Um…”

“Please, I just...I just want to know.” Shiro nodded in understanding.

“He’s um...he’s kind of going through a hard time,” Shito said hesitantly.

“ A hard time?” Lance echoed.

“Yeah. He’s been overworking himself a lot recently. And you know he’s stubborn, and he won’t slow his pace. He also is pretty restless. But you know Keith, he always refuses to take his medication..” Shiro cut himself off.

 

 

“Lance?”

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you something?” Lance nodded.

“Why...why don’t you just ask him yourself?” Lance honestly wondered if Shiro had hit his head.

“ Shiro, you know it’s complicated.”

 

“Complicated? Because of what? A breakup? You two were friends for what, 4 years before you dated?” Shiro asked this with no real force behind his words.

 

Lance felt himself beginning to glare. He felt as though Shiro was attacking him. “ No, it’s complicated because he ignored me for a month before breaking up with me.” Shiro raised his hands up in surrender. “Lance, did you ever think to maybe ask Keith what happened?”

 

Shiro was really poking him with a stick.

 

“ Shiro, I don’t want to talk about this okay? It’s not really your business. “ Lance folded his arms protectively around himself.  He was happy that business was slow otherwise he would be having the conversation in front of an audience. And that would be even more frustrating.

 

Talking about it with Pidge and Hunk was one thing, talking about it with Shiro was another.

“I know it’s not, I just…” Shiro sighed.

 

“I’m sorry that I brought it up. But he’s really sorry Lance. I know that this is not my place to have told you that and that it is not my place to speak for Keith. But honestly, he is my brothers so I can’t see him mope around like this any longer. I know that he wouldn’t be too pleased if he found out I was saying this but I just think you should know that there is more. So much more. You need to talk to Keith Lance, please. It doesn't have to be today. Or this month, heck even this year, but please know that Keith still does care about you. “

 

Shiro had placed his hand on Lance’s shoulder while speaking and now began to retract it.

“Okay. I will. I know that there are things that need to be solved but I don’t know it’s just hard….” Lance trailed off.

“I understand. But give it your best shot yeah?”

Lance slowly nodded.  Shiro nodded back at Lance before he turned and was on his way.

 

 

Lance stood there staring at Shiro’s retreating figure.

Lance began to piece together what Shiro had given him. He knew that

  1. Keith had a one night stand with Lotor and only dated him due to Lotor being pushy
  2. Keith was not currently okay
  3. There was an unknown reason for their breakup that only Keith knew. And
  4. Lance needed to talk to Keith about everything.



 

 

Shiro hadn’t seemed to be trying to be mean, although he had felt as though he had been for a second. Lance did see where he was coming from, Keith was his brother after all. Shiro talking to him about it wasn’t so surprising, he had been expecting it.

Keith had been weird when he had started to cry. Remembering it now broke Lance. He had seemed so fragile, so broken.

 

Lance left out a frustrated sigh.

 Those two were just full of surprises.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Thursday rolled around quickly and Lance found himself at Target on his way to Shiro and Matt’s apartment.

He had a cart full of Takis, stuffedOreos,, 2 cartons of pink lemonade, and a whole lot of candy bars.

 

The store was pretty deserted, but then again, it was 7:45 on a  Thursday night. Lance was running pretty late but he was in no rush to show up at Shiro and Matt’s apartment so early.

It turned out that Pidge indeed had forgotten but they had relieved that Shiro had told him to come. The two of them then had gone to the bowling alley where they had stayed until 11:00 when it closed.

Lance smiled fondly at the memory of the two of them fighting over who’s turn it was.

He made his way down the liquor aisle to pick up some wine when he spotted none other than Keith Kogane.

 

_Fuck you universe._

He thought bitterly.

_Why now?_

 

Lance ignored Keith’s presence in favor of scanning the shelves for Merlot.

A tiny voice in the back of Lance’s head urged him to talk to Keith. He could finally get things sorted out. He could finally have some kind of closure.

 Lance found the Merlot and looked at Keith from the corner of his eye. Keith was wearing a beanie and black v-neck shirt with ripped jeans. He also had isan ensemble of red flannel and leather gloves.

 

He was currently talking on his phone and biting his thumb nail. He had not noticed Lance yet.

“ Okay, it’s fine I get it Shiro.”

 

Lance allowed himself to eavesdrop as he pretended to read the bottles label.

 

 

“ Look I understand, it’s whatever. Yes I did refill it.....Okay yes, that was a lie but-.. ….What does it matter if I get it refilled or not?...... I sleep just fine....Shiro it’s-….Okay, have fun, tell Matt hello. “ Keith pulled away the phone and hung up. 

 

Lance took the opportunity to clear his throat. He caught Keith attention.

“Hey.”

Keith looked shocked and almost scared. Lance couldn’t believe how questionable his life decisions were. He loaded two bottles of Merlot to his cart.

“Hey. ”

 

They both stood there for a second in silence. The only sound being the weird music being played on the speakers surrounding the store.

_Why couldn’t it just be easier?_

 

“Lance can we-can we talk?” Keith asked. His voice sounded cracked and strained to Lance.

“Sure.”

“ Is there maybe..any way that we could go somewhere else to talk?”

Lance looked down at his cart and debated it. He nodded and made another stupid life decision.

“Sure.  Just let me buy this and we can go.”

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, that’s how he and Keith ended up in the abandoned parking lot of some grocery store that had closed 2 hours prior. Keith sat at the driver's seat and Lance sat on the passenger's side.It was now 8: 27 anyways. He was almost an hour late to the movie night and it seemed like a dumb idea to show up then anyways.  Lance had texted Pidge to tell them that he was no longer going to the movie night and that something had come up.

 

Pidge had responded to him with:

**_Okay. Were watching Emo the Musical right now and your missing out boi! Bradley is pretty great._ **

 

 

Lance had laughed hard at that.

Now as the two of them sat alone in the car together Lance mentally prepared himself.

He could do this.

 

It took a second for either of them to speak.

 

“Lance, I-I need to tell you the truth.”

“Okay, go ahead.”

Keith took a deep shaky breath.

“Lance, I am so sorry. I am so so so sorry. You are the greatest person that i’ve ever met. You honestly mean so much to me.  I just…”

Lance felt his heart thumping loud in his chest. Keith looked down at his lap before continuing. “I-I am not good enough for you Lance, I never was. I know that everyone thought that too. I mean. your just so sweet and caring and social and attractive and I heard what people thought. I just let it get to me….”

 

The light buzzing of the car filled the space.

“I thought that I didn’t deserve you and I messed things up by not picking your phone calls and not responding. I was such a jerk.” Keith rubbed his fists over his eyes and Lance felt himself began to tear up as well.

 

“I just felt like trash and I didn’t know how to talk to you I didn’t know how to be a good boyfriend anymore I was just letting you down. I’m so sorry. I can’t stop thinking about you and regretting everything I did. I know that I shouldn’t have broken up with you, especially in the way that I did. I fucking miss you Lance. But what I did...it just shows how much more you deserve.”

 

 

Lance rested a hand on Keith’s shoulder.

“Seeing you just hurt. And I know that it hurt probably worse for you. I am so sorry Lance. If I could I would take it back in a second. I am really sorry.”

 "I'm going to ask you something."

"Okay..."

 

"What was up with Lotor?"

That has been a burning question that Lance needed answered. What was Keith reasoning?

" Well...Shiro dragged me it one night to a club and convinced me to drink. He told me to maybe talk to some people and I did. I met Lotor when I was too drunk because the next thing I know I wake up in a new bead next to some stranger. I tried to leave but he insisted on getting my number. He insisted that we go on a date and I said okay since I didn't think much of it. Then suddenly I can't get rid of him. He was okay at the start and an okay person but after a while, maybe after date 3, I was done. I tried to break it off but he refused. "

 

" What about Pidges birthday party? Why did you think that that would be okay to bring him?"

 

Keith looked down at his nails. 

" I gave it as an excuse not to go out with him that night and he tried to get me to invite him. I told him no but he showed up just as me and Shiro were walking in. When I asked him what he was doing here he told me that he wanted to meet my friends. I didn't even know how the fuck he got the address. I'm sorry Lance. He ment nothing to me. And I know that that also probably fucking hurt."

 

“Keith, i’m not going to lie to you. It fucking sucked. I wanted to slap you across the face. ” Lance admitted.

Keith looked down and nodded, clearly ashamed.

 

“But I also would be lying if i said that I don’t miss you too.”

Keith looked up at Lance surprised. Lance smiled slightly and connected their hands.

 

“Keith, you are worthy of love. You can’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Those people don’t know shit. “

Keith smiled and wiped away more tears. “Thank you.”

“I just...Keith, you mean so much to me too.” Lance wipped away a tear. 

 

“I still love you but things are still kinda weird between us Keith.”

Keith nodded and squeezed Lance’s hand.

“I know. “

 

“But,  I would be willing to give it another shot.I think that maybe we could....maybe we could try again.”

Lance looked at Keith and saw tears fully coming out of Keith's eyes now.

“Me too Lance. But you know that I don't deserve it. I would love to but we both know it's a lot more complicated than just this..

" You stop thinkng like that. You are worthy Keith." Lance placed his hands around Keith's cheeks and smiled tearfully. " I  don't want you out of my life. I missed you too. ”

Keith smiled back at Lance now. The buzzing of he car becoming less annoying and they sat there.

 

“Maybe we can began to try to be friends again first and see where it goes?” Keith offered.

Lance smiled and leaned on Keith's shoulder. “I like that idea. But I also think that maybe we should talk about how you felt more. I really do know how low self esstem can suck.“

Keith nodded and leaned his head on Lances shoulder. 

 

They spent the rest of the night talking and just heeling. Keith opened up more to Lance and the two of them gradually began to come to a deeper understanding on each others emotions. They stayed in the parking lot until 2:35 am. Keith had drove Lance home and promised to text him the next morning.

 

The next morning Lance was greeted with a good morning text from Keith.

Lance was happy that he had stayed true to his word. He had texted Keith for a while before heading out to work. He did so with a bright smile.

 

Lance was giving Keith a second chance, and he knew that Keith would now be more open with him. 

Lance knew things were going to be better. 

One day at a time 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this is pretty late, I just had no inspiration.  
> Also if you have never watched Emo the Musical I recommend watching it (it's on Netflix) it is pretty funny.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your support and lovely comments.
> 
> So, I am deciding to end this here. Honestly, I don't know how else to end this and I think that it is fine as is.
> 
> Each chapter in this has been a song quote  
> chapter 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCZv-piPQz8  
> chapter 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gzt6GeNLBk  
> chapter 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fonsGqCtUnA  
> chapter 4: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPvO1sZkOx0
> 
>  
> 
> I plan on writing some more Klance so please stay tuned. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Honestly, all of your comments always brightened up my day and I am so great full for all of the comments and Kudos.
> 
> If you want, you can check me out on tumblr: https://fantitanstar.tumblr.com/
> 
>  
> 
> And once again, thank you all so much for reading, I really do appreciate it :D
> 
>  
> 
> -FanTitan

**Author's Note:**

> A rant fic
> 
> Thank you SO much for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> Comments and Kudos are much appreciated :D  
> http://fantitanstar.tumblr.com/


End file.
